I think "religious" in the Jewish world can be somewhat difficult to define. If I tell one person I keep kosher, don't cook or spend money on Shabbat, attend services on Saturday mornings, say a few blessings during the day and study Hebrew they think I'm super religious. The next person thinks I'm totally secular. Today I was reading something on a forum where a parent said..

However, even though I'm Jewish, raising the kids Jewish, we belong to a synagogue and celebrate Shabbat and holidays, etc. -- I don't think of myself as a religious person.

Now, I know people who won't step foot into a synagogue and haven't so much as attended a seder in years. They would probably view the above as at least slightly religious. So what do you think? What does it mean to you to be religious?

Ah, this is a great question! Just yesterday I was having a conversation with my partner, and the whole conversation was exactly pointing towards this question.


Well, basically, he was interested in, as he sees it, the question of how I am exactly being religious if I keep kosher, keep Shabbat, if I learn Hebrew or study Judaism in general. Basically, he sees all of these categories as "outer" manifestations of the institution of religion, as rituals and customs which marks the cultural identity, and thus, as he sees it, not the factor of believing/being religious.

(background: he is a non-denominational Christian somewhat affiliated to the Orthodox church, though he doesn't put much meaning in the church or clergy seeing them exactly as symbols/markers of institution, not of the "inner" faith, which makes them highly irrelevant for him in this sense)

In the other words, he divides "inner" faith (if I caught his mind properly; I will surely bring out this question again!), which is, somehow, more important, and "outer" manifestation of the institution of religion - rituals, customs etc, which are just culturally and institutionally introduced side effect of faith, like the things you do because of the community [to be seen as someone-who-believes-and-behaves-as-expected], not because you really believe. However, that doesn't mean that you don't believe, but that those "outer" manifestations are completely unnecessary and irrelevant in the means of faith. As he says, if you believe - you believe. So why then you do all these stuff?

(disclaimer: he is very, very supportive with my willing to convert, but he just likes to tease with these tricky questions wanting to learn more about Judaism, to learn more about me and my approaches - basically, living with me every day, it's his journey, too!)


From my point of view, the things are not so simply divided between the "inner" and "outer" aspects of faith/believing/being religious. I don't deny that all these things are part of the great body of an institution (here: Judaism), a great body of knowledge, a great body of searching for answers, interpreting, and the potential and capacity of reinterpreting and discussing things, thoughts, words and topics, which I see as one of the most important thing in Judaism for me. So I don't see this institution/tradition as negative or suffocatingly binding, but I see it as a fascinating source of inspiration, explanation, as a magnificent world of meaning in which my way of thinking just fits in, which just feels right, uplifting, and so inspirational to me. And also, delving in all that brings me joy and connects me to G-d and also to Jewish people, which is both very important and practically indivisible one from another. So "being religious" is therefore deeply personal as also a cultural thing, but basically it is a communicational thing - between me and G-d, me and Jewish people, me and the world around me etc. Being religious is all that.

So when I keep kosher or don't do certain things on Shabbat or do anything that seems to be "just" a custom/ritual, I am turning the simple things of my day into a wonderful, meaningful moments of being connected - to G-d, to Judaism, to Jewish people around the world.

I hope this made sense - I'm struggling with my mind and with my English at the same time - it can be tough.

I see myself as religious not by keeping all the mitzvot but by being active in my community and by helping my children to understand how to be Jewish and what it means to be Jewish by sending them to Hebrew school.

We celebrate the holidays and our home is a Jewish home.

I think that being Jewish is a lifelong journey and we change in how we are religious over time and practice our Judaism in a way that works for us.

I would be seen as secular by some and I am seen as religious by others.

That's an easy question: everyone who does more than me is religious, everyone who does less is secular/not very religious.

LOL!!!

In the Orthodox world, a "religious Jew" is a frum Jew. I have no idea what everyone else is.

I think it's very Protestant Christian to say that religiosity is solely based on internal faith and that actions and behavior don't matter. Other denominations of Christianity, as well as Islam and Judaism, would disagree and say that you need to SHOW your religion outwardly to be religious.

In Israel, "religious" (dati) is synonymous with observant to Orthodox standards, or the Ashkenazi term "frum". If you're traditional (accept Orthodox authority but aren't fully observant), then you're not religious. If you're Conservative or Reform, you're not religious, even if you are a rabbi. This is very unfortunate as speaks to the lack of pluralism in Judaism in Israel.

I think Usuario hit it on the head: Christianity emphasizes faith; Judaism emphasizes action. That action includes ritual activity that demonstrates faith and/or affiliation and brings both into daily life, hence keeping kosher, lighting candles, saying brachot, etc. It's really an apples/oranges debate. Though, frankly, for anyone's partner to label their religious practice as irreligious is kind of insulting and closed-minded.

In terms of what defines "religious" in a Jewish sense, I think it depends on the denomination and the individual. It's both relative and personal. For example, I consider myself a religious, observant Jew. I say brachot throughout my day before eating, lay tefillin regularly and try to daven three times a day, wear a full-time kippah and (on and off) a tallit katan with my strings out, attend Erev Shabbat and Shabbat Shacharit services regularly, and refrain from writing lists, shopping, or (usually) watching TV on Shabbos. Yet I don't keep a kosher kitchen, will use electricity on Shabbos, and don't refrain from eating treyf.

But how religious (let's use the term "observant" here) would specific communities consider me to be?

In an MO community, I wouldn't be considered very observant. In a Conservative community, my observance level would probably be par. In my own community, which is Reform, all of this actually makes me extraordinarily observant. So it's really a moving target.

I consider myself religious but not observant, if that makes any sense at all.

Slow on the uptake.

Honestly, the term "religious" blisters me for some reason. I consider myself "observant" but not full Orthodox definition. I guess, to me, "religious" has some connotations I don't like - blind faith, etc. Mike's post hit it on the head, maybe. I observe, but maybe I don't get this fervent joy or compulsion from doing so, which I associate with the "religious."

I lack in the belief department but I am not nearly as observant as I could be, so I hesitate to use the term "observant". I drive and watch TV on shabbat, I sometimes cook and lately I've been eating a particular non-kosher gluten free food. Because of these things I do not feel I can call myself "observant" so I settle for "religious". It is of course, not religious in the sense that other groups (ie Christians, Muslims, etc) use the term.

Having tried to go the ultra-frum path for a bit, I've come to the conclusion that ultimately, you need to educate yourself and find a way to make what you believe relevant. For me, sitting around the house bored (there's only so many walks you can take before that gets old) in a non-religious community doesn't do a thing for us. We took some steps back from that and now seek true relaxation/rejuvenation and don't let driving or cooking be a hang up for us.

I guess my path has led me to believe that I don't need to conform to be a part of a community bringing light to the world. I can take the teachings and work within them as much as I can, but there's a reason why there are so many ex-religious Jewish comedians - the oppression can be stifling if you're not wired or set up to follow it. I don't think you can be happy and fully observant in a non-religious community, and, well, if my husband's experience is any example, the worst time in his life was his year in Monsey, NY, so I still go back to it can't be a cross to bear or it's not "rest."

Ha ha ha! Talk about mixing metaphors with that last line! Aww, English idioms, you get me every time.