Purim

Posts: 324 Join date: 2011-09-05 Location: Chicagoland

First topic message reminder :

Here's a children's book about Purim that my frum friend says has the best ever recipe for Hamantashen dough: Purim Play

While mentioning children's books, I have to mention my all-time favorite series of Jewish picture books which are cute and educational: the "Sammy Spider" series. Here's the one about Purim: Sammy Spider's First Purim
I kept buying these as new ones came out for a few years after my kids were really past the intended audience. I guess I was thinking in terms of future grandkids Laughing

I see from the Amazon listing that I've missed a few. I sure wish I had some younger Jewish nieces and nephews to buy these for, but my sister-in-law does not have children, and my sister's kids are Catholic and secular Christian.

My 17 year old daughter wants to chant a chapter of Esther for my minyan's erev Purim service this year. She wanted to do it last year but got too busy at school and ran out of time to prepare. The extra challenge is that at my minyan the Megillah is read from a scroll, so as for a Torah reading the reader has to know the vowels and trope, but she says that the vowels and trope are "easy" for such as narrative story. I hope she is not taking on too much because she is going to be really busy since she as "first cello" at her school she is playing in the orchestra for her school's production of "Hello, Dolly".

My family has usually done all our costumes in some sort of family theme, which is a fun tradition done by many families in my minyan. Last year we were all "bugs"'; the previous year we were different "Alice in Wonderland" characters. Our best year we were "other holidays": my husband was a piece of matzah; my daughter was a lulav and carried a giant "etrog"; my son was a dreidel; I was a tree (Tu Bishevat).

Posts: 84 Join date: 2012-01-02

Great :) Do you explain the holiday, or just treat it as a bonus gift?

Posts: 30 Join date: 2011-09-19 Location: China

esf wrote:

Do any of you give Mishloach Manot to your non-Jewish friends? We're putting together packages and my 4 year old son is keen to share with ALL his friends..

I brought hamentaschen into work on Monday for my coworkers, the bulk of whom are Chinese. They were totally into them, and the American employees who knew what they were were psyched, too (though really, anyone's psyched if you ply them with baked goods).

At the risk of being Debbie Downer, I have to say that that was much more fun than the Megillah reading I just attended, which I spent crammed into a tiny space behind an impenetrable mechitzah with about fifteen other women. Neutral

I get that space is at a premium in our building, and it's Chabad, but c'mon, guys. A mechitza's not required for the Megillah reading, for one, the space was totally inadequate for the number of women who wanted to listen (and who are halachically obligated to listen, I might add), and I saw at least three or four women who ended up stranded outside in the courtyard, unable to hear the reading, because there wasn't an inch of space for them behind the mechitzah. Also, fire hazard.

I know I should probably just quit my whining and be happy I have a reading to go to at all, and I really am, but it was still a downer, I suppose because I totally didn't expect it. The photos I saw from last year didn't have a mechitzah in them, and I've attended Chabad readings before that didn't have one, so it didn't even cross my mind. More irritating was that the mechitzah itself is a set of thick, foldable, wooden panels, so it could have been moved without a lot of fuss in between Maariv and the actual reading.

One more reason to get my butt posted somewhere with a wider range of Jewish options after I leave China, I suppose.

Posts: 658 Join date: 2011-09-05 Age: 30

It looks like I may be spending Purim in bed with a bottle of Nyquill. I know I am contagious so I probably shouldn't even force myself out since I don't want to get anyone else sick.

Posts: 272 Join date: 2011-09-23 Location: Tennessee

Ick, sorry to hear, Dena!

I couldn't do Purim last year because it was opposite our yearly reenactment. This year will be my first.

Does anyone fast on Purim? I didn't know it was a fast day (minor fast day?) until I saw a mention of it on one of my Facebook news pages.

Posts: 324 Join date: 2011-09-05 Location: Chicagoland

FaustianSlip wrote:

the Megillah reading I just attended, which I spent crammed into a tiny space behind an impenetrable mechitzah with about fifteen other women. Neutral

I get that space is at a premium in our building, and it's Chabad, but c'mon, guys. A mechitza's not required for the Megillah reading, for one, the space was totally inadequate for the number of women who wanted to listen (and who are halachically obligated to listen, I might add), and I saw at least three or four women who ended up stranded outside in the courtyard, unable to hear the reading, because there wasn't an inch of space for them behind the mechitzah. Also, fire hazard.

At first I was confused when I read your post in the morning and then realized that being in China means that you are well into the holiday before it has even begun for those of us in the US. Bummer about the mechitza situation! If space was tight with only 15 other women, there sure is a tiny space for women! It sends a definite message that they don't expect women to participate in shul. And as you say, it is not halachically required AND it prevented Jewish women from being able to fulfill the mitzvah (required of them!) to hear the Megillah. It is cases like these where the real misogynistic views show rather clearly. I like many aspects of Orthodox Judaism, but I don't like it when some Orthodox Jews discriminate against women without true religious need for it, and seem to be selective in their observance of halacha such that they invariably follow it when it is not in women's favor, but neglect it when it should support women.

Will the space issue be a problem for other holidays? Were you there for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur? I suppose it will be less a problem for Pesach since most of the women will be busy cooking and preparing for the seders. Will Chabad have a seder and will you have somewhere to attend one?

Posts: 324 Join date: 2011-09-05 Location: Chicagoland

Mychal wrote:

Does anyone fast on Purim? I didn't know it was a fast day (minor fast day?) until I saw a mention of it on one of my Facebook news pages.

Actually, the Fast of Esther is the day before Purim and lasts only from dawn to nightfall, not 25 hours like other fasts. I personally do not observe this fast.

Posts: 324 Join date: 2011-09-05 Location: Chicagoland

I don't usually give Mishloach Manot to non-Jews, but many years ago, I did bake and bring in hamentashen for all my co-workers. My secular Jewish boss (whom I'm still friends with over 20 years later) was really excited. A Chinese co-worker wanted to know why I brought in cookies for Jewish holidays, but had not brought in anything for Chinese New Year. I suppose the truth is that even back then, Judaism was more important to me than Chinese traditions even if that's my ethnic heritage.

Update on my daughter's megillah reading: she bailed out. Luckily, the Minyan member who will do it instead was very gracious. My family is dressing in a "sports theme": my daughter will wear her karate gi, my son will wear his swim shirt and swim shorts with a mask and snorkel (maybe my husband's fins too), my husband will wear bicycling jersey and tights with a bike helmet, and I'll wear my ski helmet and goggles with a ski jacket (maybe clunk around in ski boots too).

Posts: 30 Join date: 2011-09-19 Location: China

Debbie B. wrote:

Bummer about the mechitza situation! If space was tight with only 15 other women, there sure is a tiny space for women! It sends a definite message that they don't expect women to participate in shul. And as you say, it is not halachically required AND it prevented Jewish women from being able to fulfill the mitzvah (required of them!) to hear the Megillah. It is cases like these where the real misogynistic views show rather clearly.

It's a very tiny space; maybe a bit bigger than the walk-in closet in my apartment. I wish I was exaggerating. And your points are exactly what bothered me so much. It was pretty outrageous, really. I would have been furious if I'd gotten there after all of the seats were taken and was left unable to actually fulfill the mitzvah because no one could be bothered to find a way to expand the womens' section on a holiday. The Rebbitzen introduced herself after the reading and was very nice (though I had to bail on the party because of work today), but there's no way I'm going to take time off work to go back for the second reading today when there's not even a guarantee I'll be able to get myself a seat, and it's made so clear that they're not particularly invested in whether women show up to this stuff or not.

Quote:

I like many aspects of Orthodox Judaism, but I don't like it when some Orthodox Jews discriminate against women without true religious need for it, and seem to be selective in their observance of halacha such that they invariably follow it when it is not in women's favor, but neglect it when it should support women.

This pretty much sums up the reason I didn't elect to pursue an Orthodox conversion (and sums up the reason that I'll probably never identify as Orthodox, no matter how observant I become). It left a really sour taste in my mouth, and I'm someone who has davened with a mechitzah, understands the rationale behind it, et cetera. I really can't imagine what someone who'd never even set foot in an Orthodox shul before would have made of it. A side effect of the set-up is that during services, almost no one actually did any davening; everyone was just having a coffee klatch behind the mechitzah. And really, why not? When the clear message is that it doesn't matter whether you're there or not, there's not much incentive to actually listen to the chazzan or participate.

Quote:

Will the space issue be a problem for other holidays? Were you there for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur? I suppose it will be less a problem for Pesach since most of the women will be busy cooking and preparing for the seders. Will Chabad have a seder and will you have somewhere to attend one?

I've only actually gone there one other time. There's another city about two hours away with a liberal community, and after a similarly awful experience at Chabad the first time I went (a Shabbat service the week I got here), I gave up going there and now take the train to the Reform shul whenever I can. I felt like it was better to just daven on my own and be able to focus on what I was doing than go to shul and be so pissed off at the environment that I had zero kavanah. But I thought maybe I was being uncharitable; there was a big event in town when I went, I was homesick, maybe it was me that was being unfair. And besides, getting out just for Purim was going to be tough. But this experience has pretty much reinforced all of my previous thoughts on the matter.

Thank G-d, I was actually in Australia for High Holy Days last year; I deliberately timed my vacation to get the heck out of dodge. I davened with a really awesome Masorti community in Melbourne, and it was the best decision I could have made for myself. This year, I'll go to the Reform shul for Rosh Hashanah and will be in Oz again for Yom Kippur. Maybe I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth, but I'm not going to spend the holiest day of the year crammed behind a wall with someone practically sitting in my lap who's not interested in what's going on, anyway. For Pesach, I'm going to be in the UK, so I'm going to find a Seder there- I'm in touch with a group on Facebook who said they could hook me up. Not sure where I'll be next year; if I'm local, I may just try and hold my own Seder. I'll be just about to go to my next post, though, so it'll depend on what's going on.

I don't think I'm expecting miracles or anything, really, but it doesn't strike me as a lot to ask to actually have space to daven, for one, and to have enough quiet behind the mechitzah to daven effectively, for another. Neither of those should fly in the face of any kind of halacha.

Posts: 658 Join date: 2011-09-05 Age: 30

Mychal wrote:

Does anyone fast on Purim? I didn't know it was a fast day (minor fast day?) until I saw a mention of it on one of my Facebook news pages.

I did last year but today I've had a few drinks of water because I was coughing my head off. I plan to eat something here soon too.

Posts: 128 Join date: 2011-12-01 Location: New York

I observed the fast and actually didn't eat or drink until after I heard the reading of the Book of Esther.

It gets tough in the middle of the day but once you pass a certain point it becomes easier again. Well at least for me!

Posts: 324 Join date: 2011-09-05 Location: Chicagoland

I actually got all the way to the "boneless skinless" part of the eggplant article in the email notice below before I realized: oh yeah, today is Purim!

Copying a Facebook status from one of my friends:
!חמש םירופ גח

Posts: 324 Join date: 2011-09-05 Location: Chicagoland

Another Purim spoof:
Rabbits for Human Fights

Posts: 12 Join date: 2012-10-22

It's time again guys!

I'm going to make hamentaschen. And as someone who isnt that skilled in the kitchen, I'm going to practice with my first bunch tomorrow. Wish me luck.

This year will be my 2nd celebrating Purim. Last year I made a basket for my 8 year old son and he was so excited. The joy on his face!

He wants to make a couple of baskets for his three best friends next week and I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with this. I have explained to him the story behind mishloach manot which he does appreciate. I'm really impressed he wants to do this, especially as he will use his own pocket money to fund it. However he's certainly not regarded as a Jew by his school, when he enrolled I ticked the Catholic box on his forms. Certainly they have no idea of my personal journey. My thoughts are maybe I should leave him do what he is comfortable with. However I'm concerned he might be questioned by a teacher 'why the Jewish thing?' which is a situation I don't him to find himself in just yet with his very limited understanding.

Would anyone be willing to share your thoughts on this?

I've thought a compromise might be for him to do as he wishes but invite his friends over to our home in the afternoon and present them then? That way I can support him if he gets stuck explaining why he's doing it. Now that I ponder it further it sounds logistically easier as well.

Posts: 658 Join date: 2011-09-05 Age: 30

Yes, I would have him invite his friends over for school. It will be easier for him and I'm sure they will have fun together. Very Happy

Posts: 272 Join date: 2011-09-23 Location: Tennessee

If anyone asked why he was handing out baskets, can he not say, "My mommy's a Jew and Jews give gifts on Purim"?

I don't know the school your son is in, of course. I went to an Episcopal school and had a Jewish boy in my class. The big talk in 8th grade was about Zach's bar mitzvah that previous summer; all his friends had really enjoyed it. No one cared he was Jewish any more than I cared that one of my best friends was a non-practicing Buddhist/Confucianist and the other one a maybe, sort of, non-practicing Christian of indeterminate denomination.